Friend: Oh my god, I need to show this guy’s Facebook profile picture. He is such a douche.
Me: Let me guess, he’s wearing sunglasses indoors?
Friend: Dude, yes!
Me: And a suit?
Me: Gelled hair?
Friend: Wow, yeah.
Me: Soul patch?
Friend: No, see? Holds phone up to show me the photo.
Me: Damn it! ‘Touching the glass so as to show off his expensive watch!’ So close.